I cannot speak for everyone, but if I were an inanimate object, I would describe myself as a cliché sponge. I am constantly learning from the outlooks of other people. My name is Jamie. I’m a 23 year old girl who has been experiencing these incredible “mile markers” of life that I like to internally ponder. Actually, it would be more accurate to describe it as an obsession of internal ponder sessions that I would LOVE to scribble or write down. I know I’m not the only one who experiences these important moments or feelings. Sometimes I want to share my realizations or experiences simply because if anyone has the same psyche as me, they also learn from what other people go through as well. They are empathetic. In my opinion, empathy sets the really incredible people apart from the average.
Quite frankly, since I’ve moved out on my own at the age of 17, I have discovered how downright rude life can be. Whether it’s work, school, unexpected medical expenses, people, or love. Life can be rude! This is also old news! I was young, naïve and had unrealistic expectations as to how my life would pan out and how well people would treat me. People didn’t understand me, and because of that I didn’t understand them. As life is rude, I have found that life is mostly a beautiful thing. I am going to try my best to articulate WHY I find it to be such a beautiful thing.
Empathy helps us come full circle in life’s greatest obstacles; the rudeness of life. Empathy requires learning where others are coming from. Engaging in other’s feelings and choosing to respect them. It requires active listening and understanding. Let me TRY to explain the way I see it. The worst circumstance we can encounter in our personal lives can be overcome with innate human resiliency hidden within the deepest depths of our brain. It is up to us to engage in it when we become really stressed out, hurt, heartbroken, or depressed. Sometimes we cannot realize it on our own, which is why we can utilize help from other people in our life who may give us a different perspective than the one we have or know. It is so important to reciprocate empathy and resiliency to others. I would be lying if I said I knew everything on my own. There are things I think I know, wish I knew, and really do know! But just because I know something really well doesn’t make me completely right. My human experience with others has helped me realize myself and who I am becoming. I know that it has also influenced other people in my life.
I sincerely believe the empathy people have had towards me (or lack of empathy) has instilled the feeling of power within me to become ANYTHING that I want to in life. Empathy is my motivator. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with the possibilities of life that there is nothing I can do to shake my feelings. I get jittery, shaky, and I can’t sleep at night. When I was younger I felt so discouraged about not having a passion in anything in particular, like sports, talent or music and what-have-you. I have finally realized my passion is for life! To do what I want and take everything in stride based on the way I have encountered others.
My first profound feeling of empathy came when I was inspired by a documentary that changed my life. This is the documentary that encouraged me to pursue my Associate Degree in Pre-Nursing and embark on a trip to Malawi, Africa to teach HIV/AIDS education. It is named “I Am Because We Are,” and focuses on the children orphaned by the devastating effects of HIV/AIDS. I think it can be a general consensus that the worst kind of pain our species can experience is the loss of a loved one. When I observed these children, the conditions they were living in, and the socio-economic disadvantage they were faced with, I found myself blown away. These children and adults, despite living with nothing and experiencing frequent loss, made the best of their life every day. That is all they could do to find sanity. We are just empty souls without knowing happiness. I wanted to understand this, I felt I needed to. How was it that I, a product of a loving family, who was fed every day and kept clothed and warm my whole life, felt so entitled to everything and constantly let down by life? I had/have absolutely no right. It was then that I realized that my life is not just about me. I am not who I am without the influence of others and vice versa. I need to learn this for myself, I yearn to understand it. This is why I am going to Africa. I am choosing to immerse myself in a different culture and lifestyle to learn where people are coming from, how they cope with personal travesties, and why they are the way they are. Especially from people who are less privileged than me in terms of materialistic things, but rich in personal understanding and awareness. There is always something to be taught, and sometimes happiness is a learned emotion. I think our inability to empathize creates huge disparities between relationships and groups of people. If everyone cared a little less about themselves and put a little more effort into someone else, we would appreciate our lives so much more because we will have realized that people CARE about and LOVE us. We can help each other! I would much rather continue to learn from loss to eventually find feelings of good-intent for the rest of my life. People will help me accomplish this, not just in Malawi, but in everyday life.
It will be interesting to see how my personal experience in Africa will relate to my preconceived notions of the trip. I may find myself completely wrong, but I have a hunch that I’m right. I can’t help but assume that these people will help me discover even more just how beautiful my life truly is. I invite you to see where I’m coming from in my future entries. I will also respect seeing where you are coming from, too. Let’s try to understand one another.
